I have the raddest friends on the planet. That is a given, but I would like to take a moment to shine the spotlight on Mr. Chuck Chuck Shawn.
Andromeda was in Chicago over the weekend, so I had some free time. I texted Shawn and he was out at the BMX Winter Nationals. He races his bike every year or at least he seems to. I’ve never been, but I decided to check it out and show my support.
Now , its called the “Winter Nationals” but it was over a hundred degrees out, which is fucking insane when you are racing a bike, or doing any kind of physical activity, or standing in the shade.
Chuck Chuck met me at the gate and showed me around a bit. It was pretty cool, it was no Hell Track, but it was what I imagined a BMX track to be.
I was surprised by the amount of people racing. They had a bunch of age groups, experience levels, and bike type (20″ vs Crusers).
We found a place in the shade and shot the shit and watched the racers go by, chearing on the ones who feel, and encouraging them to get on their bikes and ride like a Queen song.
When it was close to his turn, we went up to the staging area and he road his race. Mind you, there were three people in his age bracket from the X Games, two of which I recognised.
He ran his race, and a guy in front of him ate shit so Chuck Chuck had to slow down and lost his momentum. He needed to place in the top two to qualify, and he did not, but he had another shot later in the day.
It was hot so I didn’t wait around.
But, Chuck Chuck will do anything. He puts his mind to shit, and does it. Always ready for an experience (some experiences I’m glad he did, so I never have to, ie. Asian rub and tug). He races in the Winter Nationals. I don’t know if anyone else went out there to see him, but it didn’t matter, he did it. Alone. I don’t know if I could do that. There are things I will do alone, but I don’t think that would be one. Ya, I’m a bit narcissistic I guess. I need the encouragement of friends. Its like DJing I guess. I a lot more nervous when I don’t know anyone. Like Stanhope says, people wrestle alligators all the time, but never without an audience.
Not only that, but he just had the best attitude about everything. On Saturday he didn’t qualify (finishing in 3rd) but that didn’t faze him. At least it didn’t seem to. He gave it a shot. More than most anyone.
I just don’t know that there is anything in the world that would intimidate him enough to not do. I’m intimidated by everything.
There is only one Chuck Chuck, and as much as I aspire to be more like him, having him as a friend is good enough.
“He never did win no checkered flags
but he never did come in last”
–Primus “Jerry Was a Race Car Driver” (Chuck Chuck didn’t win, but also didn’t come in last by the way)
So, here’s how radio works. Well, radio as far as I know it to this point…
I’m doing a covers only show, so that limits my scape by a tremendous amount. I have a basic layout of the show, broken down in to really popular stuff (NOFX, Pennywise, Rancid), newer popular stuff (Dropkick, Streetlight Manafesto), new stuff, other (think Epi-Fat Records), and the classics (Ramones, Pistols). I work with a outline, and put the bands in their place, and pop out a show. Well, the groundwork at least.
The thing is, I’m pretty limited in what I have to work with. Especially when it comes to the biggest bands. Rancid and Bad Religion aren’t known for their covers. Also, I stopped buying CDs years ago and have most of my stuff on vinyl. I’m trying to fix that, but I am playing a lot of catch up
I put up a request thread for the show on Facebook, but I record it Wednesday day, and of airs Friday night, so most requests are filled a week late.
When I have a pretty good idea of what I want to play, and what I want to say, I plop down in front of my computer and open Audacity. It’s a free audio editing software.
I put in my produced intro thing, and then in another window, record my talking. You know, a welcome to the show, and some banter before the first song.
Something pretty close to, “Hey everybody, welcome to SkaPunk Radio Friday Night Undercover, I am your host DJ LaRue, easing you in to your weekend with all your favorite…”. You get the point.
Only its me going, “Heeey everybody… No.” Stop, x it out. Press record. “Hey everone, how are ya’ll doing… ‘ya’ll’ did I really say ‘ya’ll’”. Stop. X out. Record. “Hey what’s up everybody. Thanks for, ah, tuning in to, ah, another edition of the, ah, SkaPunk Radio Undercovers show here, ah, on KUKQ.com. I’m, ah, gonna, here, shit.” stop.
At this point I actually have something. I will then work off that and piece together a full minute of not inspired, but not atrocious audio. It will be 5 takes put together with the long awkward pauses removed, but its not bad enough that I want to slam my face in a filing cabinet.
That only took 20 minutes.
I cut and paste two songs in, then a pre-recorded bump, and another song or two, and then need to talk some more. Another 20 minutes of stumbling over my tongue to come up with what sounds to the untrained ear like 30 seconds of information.
Repeat this for 55 minutes of air time. Then I put in what ever ads there are, my last bit of speech thanking everyone and pumping the Facebook, and the last song.
It would be real easy of I could get my rap down better.
Also, I gotta do my speech tracks when no one else is around. It’s way too embarrassing to think of doing it when The Todd or Andromeda could hear. One week I had to just do the last part and Andromeda was around. I just did it in one take, and called it good.
It actually was good. That’s why I want to go live. I want to be able to just say stuff and have it be gone. Escaped into the atmosphere, where I can’t bring it back to delete it.
Embrace the chaos.
It really is maddening.
I finish the show, upload it to the internet Thursday, and the magic elves make it play Friday nights at nine.
I think I’m getting better, and I’m actually pretty proud of myself. I’m actually doing something with my life that I enjoy. I’m not making any money, but I’m working in radio…
Kinda.
If you have a life, so you can’t listen to the show Friday nights at 9pm, you can check out the last two show here http://soundcloud.com/dj-larue. There is even an app for it, so you can listen to my show on the go.
I also welcome your feedback as long as it is positive as I am astoundingly fragile.
“When I got the music
I gotta place to go”
–NOFX “Radio” (Its a cover, get it…”
I’ve known this cat my whole life, and I think he is a pretty solid dude. He tries his best to be a good person, and nice to people – even if he dislikes them as a species.
He may not have much game with women, but when he can draw one in with his charms, he does his best to treat her as well as he possibly can. He may faulter once and again, but his intentions are always good.
He got dumped by a girl he was married to.
She said that she was doing what was best for him.
His opinion on what he wanted, what he thought he deserved didn’t matter. She knew best.
Obviously what was best for him was not being happy, but to be really fucked up for about five years. He is in a great place now, but that shit has stuck with him.
So ya, I have that fear as well. I’m afraid Andromeda will find some way to condone her breaking up with me as being in my best interest.
Having my dream girl, and the most important person in my life no longer in my life for some reason doesn’t seem to be in my best interest.
Now not only am I professional DJ, but now I am a (semi) professional (internet) radio DJ. I may not be getting paid yet, and its not terrestrial, but I’m still pretty stoked.
Let me work you through the process that led me here.
My buddy Drinko has been friends with Craven Moorehead, formerly off all the incantations of 103.9 in Phoenix, and we had hung out a few times and talked about music and radio. He did the SkaPunk show every night for years on The Edge and X103.9, and when the station changed formats recently he was shit canned. He didn’t want to stop the show, so he went online.
A few weeks back Craven gave me a call. He wanted me to come in and DJ for the station. We had talked about radio before, but I hadn’t told him that it was actually a dream of mine, and something I attempted to study at ASU (long story short, I’m not smart, which is scary when associated with an ASU scale).
I jumped at the opertunity.
I was gonna get on the radio with him, but circumstances, and my trip to Florida got in the way.
By the time I got back, things had changed. SkaPunkRadio was being folded in to the rebirth of KUKQ. KUKQ was an AM station in Phoenix that bit the dust in the mid-90s.
Mind you, no one associated with the new internet KUKQ has any connections to the origional, not that they haven’t asked some of the old jocks to be involved.
Anyway, lots of shit was moving around. For a while I feared that I had fallen by the way-side.
I got a call from Craven saying he was ready for me… More or less.
I was ready to go, but kept getting pushed back.
I eventually got my first real instruction last Wednesday when I met up with Craven and Bill, formerly of Authority Zero, who also has been doing his SkaPunk Passport show for a while now. Bill knew some tricks with Audacity, an audio mixing program that I was using, that Craven, a ProTools guy, didn’t.
I got the rundown and even stuck around for the evenings SkaPunk show. If you listen hard enough, you can hear me shouting in the background. I wasn’t good enough to get a Mic yet. Ha.
So that all went down Wednesday night. I told him I would get on it, and have a show ready for Friday.
Rather than go live, I was gonna tape out my show, something I will be doing at least true first few weeks.
I spent that night and Thursday morning banging out a show.
That whole process will be another blog in the future.
Thus far, I have done two shows, and I am learning as much as I can. I think I might be ok at this by the end.
I mean, my taste in music is impecable, now I just gotta get the jabber down and get it all sounding workable.
Cross my fingers that this might actually lead to something more exciting that not.
Oh, ya, if you aren’t doing interesting things Friday nights at 9pm AZ time, tune in to KUKQ.com to hear this guy host the SkaPunkRadio Friday Night Under Cover.
“I’d rather die than be played in rotation,
fuck the radio station”
–Phunk Junkeez “Radio Sucks”
I’m gonna apologize right from the start for some of the vagueness that follows. I started this blog, and only tell certain people about it so I can be as blunt as possible, but really, the names don’t really matter, so…
Nice guys finish last. Most of the time. Like 98% of the time if my empirical evidence is correct.
I’m a nice guy, and I managed to snag my dream girl, but it took more than a few last place finishes to get there. This isn’t reality about that. This is more about the insecurities watching other nice guys blow a hammy before the finish line has on me.
I have a friend who, frankly, is the best catch of all my male friends. He’s on par with the nicest dudes I know, is super giving, and will help anyone in any way. I’ve been out with him and his love interests, and he is chivalrous. A true gentleman (much like yours truly).
I mean, any woman in the world would be lucky to have him on her arm.
I also know one of the girls he was hung up on. She has nothing negative to say about him. She acknowledges all his many positive traits. Admits that he is a great guy.
It just wasn’t right. She didn’t feel it. He wasn’t the one.
That fucking sucks. How can he do everything right (OK, I’m speaking of a relationship I wasn’t in, so I can’t be sure, but I feel good saying he did almost everything right) and still get aced out?
That’s some bullshit. He would still do anything for her, and she would still find a way to shit on him. A guy that she admits is great.
I think he was too nice. I think she may be one of those girls who needs an asshole. Maybe not a total asshole, but more than my friend could muster.
Thanks to that relationship, I’m afraid that I’m gonna get dumped for being too nice. Every time Andromeda tells me that I’m too nice to her, which I am not, I inform her that I am exactly as nice to her as she deserves, which I am. I fear, I’m gonna be too good a boyfriend.
Apparently that is a dumpable offence in my scrambled brain.
Here recently, another friend started going out with a dude she had known for a few years in a long distance style deal. From what I gather, there was always a spark, but relationship-wise, the timing was always off. When they ditched their previous mates and started dating, they meshed really well. They would travel to see each other all the time, and things were going great. So great that they were talking about moving, if not in together, at the very least to the same city.
I’ve met the dude, and let’s be honest, I’m not the easiest person to get to warm up to you. I really don’t like most people. I actually really liked this dude. When we talked, it wasn’t awful. (Andromeda really likes to stick me with her friends boyfriends while she and her girlfriend go out side to smoke a cigarette. By “a cigarette” I actually mean a half a pack. I am left to try to make awkward chit chat with someone who is uninteresting or Canadian – often both.) I actually had no problem talking to this guy, even when she volunteered me to drive him home from a baseball game, just the two of us, which could have proven to be a disaster).
Low and behold, another guy from my friend’s life professes his love for her. I think that she had had a crush on him for years, but I can’t confirm this. Believe me, I see the allure of this new beau. He has a lot of shit going for him.
She just broke up with her long distance boyfriend to try things with the new guy.
Once again, the guy was awesome. They were in love (maybe I should put that in quotes). He was doing everything right. He was just aced out by what she felt was a more suitable suitor.
I mean, he just got screwed on the deal.
One minute, happy as a pig in shit because KU is NCAA champ, next minute, dumped of no error of his own.
I mean, its some bullshit. I love my friend, understand where she is coming from, and get it. I also really like the new guy in her life. I just don’t like that a solid dude, a nice guy had to get his heart broken over it.
Now I’m worried that some dude from Andromeda’s past is gonna pop in and sweep her off her feet.
When you have finished last for so long, when put in the unfamiliar pole position, its hard to not stare at the ground short of the finish line anticipating where the rest of the pack will pass you bye.
“We’re always the first
To cross the line
We always leave the good guys
Twenty miles behind”
–Discipline “Nice Boys Finish Last”
For a few years now, spring training has been a big part of my March. For at least the past two years, I’ve gone to a game on each of my days off. I’ve had lots of fun hanlging out with my friends while doing so.
This year I’ve upped the ante a bit. I set the goal of visiting all 10 of the spring training facilities in Arizona.
For my amazing readers, yes, both of you, I will review the ballparks. This could get long.
Scottsdale Stadium. Home of the San Francisco Giants. Game attended: March 3rd vs Diamondbacks.
I went to the opening game for both the Giants and AZ Diamond Backs with about 20 or so friends on March 3rd. I personally like the park because it is biking distance from my house, so I usually get a group of people to ride to at least one game a season.
Being located in Old Town Scottsdale, it has an Old Town Scottsdale party feel to it. Being that I hate Old Town, this isn’t an instant plus. There are always a ton of people at the games, and I bet the fewest amount of people actually watch baseball there. It’s a party. That’s basically it. Lots of bros with their shirts off, and lots of girls inappropriately wearing high heels.
I think the stadium itself is only alright. There isn’t much shade in the seats, and the outfield berm isn’t that big. Maybe it just doesn’t seem that big since I usually go there with large groups and thanks to my friends, we are always late and can’t find a spot. The food choices seem a little lacking by current standards.
There is plenty of beer though.
I didn’t partake, but for 75 bucks more, you get a shady spot on an outfield patio with all you can eat food, and better yet, all you can drink beer.
Like I said, this stadium is a party.
Hohokam Stadium. Home of the Chicago Cubs. Games attended: March 4th vs Oakland, 5th vs Oakland, 14th vs Brewers, 15th vs DBacks, 18th vs White Sox.
I’m a Cubs fan and a DBacks fan. In spring training I go to more Cubs games because in the regular season I go to more DBacks games.
I spend a lot of time at Hohokam watching my Cubbies.
The stadium is pretty old, and getting in and out is bad, and parking is bad. Well, just like Wrigley.
There aren’t that many food options as I found out with T-Ya, and a decent selection of drinks. Of that, the only one that matters is Old Style beer. If you are drinking in the grass at a Cubs game (where you should at least start your day) you best be drinking an Old Style. I am a little upset that they have gone from $5 12oz cans to $7 16oz cans.
What I will say is that Hohokam was the first place I saw seasons ago that seriously brought it when it came to condaments. Most places have katsup and musturd to go along with onions and relish – maybe some saurkrout. At Hohokam, they have that plus BBQ sauce, dejon mustard, mayonase, and ranch. What could explain the Midwestern mentality more than a ranch despencer.
Well played.
When you get down to it, the stadium isn’t very good. That’s why they are getting a new on in a year or so.
That doesn’t matter. What matters is that the fans make Hohokam awesome. I will fully admit that I could just be bias, but I seem to always end up talking to the people around me in the outfield. They are there to party, and have a few drinks, but they are also there to watch the game. They might not all be the most astute fans, but they have an idea what’s going on for the most part. It’s the proper ballance of a baseball party atmosphere.
I’m excited for the new digs. If they can keep the feel with updated aminities, the place will be awesome.
Surprise Stadium. Home of the Texas Rangers and Kansas City Royals. Game attended: March 7th Royals vs Cubs.
First off, that place is far. Really far.
Other than that, the place itself isn’t bad. I like the look of it. Nice big outfield berm that you can sit on for a meager six bucks. There seemed to be plenty of shade… I’m judging that by the fact that it was windy and chilly out at the game and most people were clammering for seats in the sun. An oddity at spring training games for the most part.
The things that set this place apart was how there was no one there, and those that were were old. I mean, its close to Sun City, so the retired are the only people who live near there. Well, and the poor people in El Marage and the surounding areas, but they gotta work on Wednesday afternoon.
The marketing people knew their demographics, advertising cateract prosedures etc. My favorite was Sanderson Ford, who sponsors a pavilion at the ballpark. They were advertising cars, but made sure to announce that they had a full fleet of wheelchair accessible vehicles.
I also loved it when the promotions lady couldn’t find a kid to hold up a sign for McDonald’s french fries during a promo between innings. The average age there was 55 easy.
The other thing is there was no one at the game. I have no idea how they could stay open with attendants that low. The Cubs travel well, and there were still less than 1200 people there. The game at Hohokam the Monday two days prior had about 5800, and it seemed empty compared to normal.
It’s a good ballpark, too bad no one will ever find out.
Astros Park in Orlando. Game attended: March 11th vs Detroit Tigers.
This is a bonus report. When I went to Orlando for a wedding, I tried to fit in a baseball game.
There are a few issues here. One is that spring training in Florida is all over Florida as opposed to Arizona spring training which is all in the Phoenix area. All 10 ballparks in AZ are less than hour from my house. Where I was in Orlando, I had two – Astros or Braves. I drove an hour in the rain to Kissamee praying the baseball gods would clear the clouds. No such luck.
I checked out the facilities all the same.
First off, the place was small. There was no outfield berm to sit on, and the lower level seemed to only have five rows, with a dozen or so in the upper deck. I pride myself on being uninformed in my writing, but I had to look it up. The Astros park is the smallest in all of spring training with a maximum capacity of 5200. That’s half the size of most of the parks in AZ. Tiny.
Maybe due to lack of capacity and other stadiums near by, tickets are expensive. Very expensive by Cactus League standards. I spent 50 bucks on two tickets. That’s way more than I spend on DBacks tickets for regular season games. Braves tickets were even worse.
Due to the rain, I didn’t get a real feel for the park as far as food and drink goes, but I did visit the team shop. I was at a Grapefruit League game, so I should at least get a lousy t-shirt. I even describe it as “lousy” but the shirts were awful, even by those standards. (To be honest, the Cactus League shirts suck too, but not to that extent.)
People have been saying that they think the Florida teams will all be in AZ in 10 years, and I see why. Given I had a sample size of one, I can see why teams would prefer the Valley over the entire state of Florida. It seems like it would not only increase team revenue (more people coming to your games) but the amount of time for “training” as you wouldn’t spend 4 hours a day on a chartered bus.
It just showed me how lucky, as a baseball fan, I am to live in AZ in March.
Phoenix Municipal Stadium. Home of the Oakland Athletics. Game attended: March 17th vs Cubs.
I remember going to Muni when I was in 6th grade to see Phoenix Firebirds games. That was in the late 80s. Place hasn’t changed much.
It’s an old and small park with no outfield berm. I like to sit in the grass but that’s tough luck. No grass and a small capacity means that the cheap seats are $12 as opposed to $6-10 at all the other ballparks. It doesn’t seem like much, but if you go a lot, paying twice as much for a ticket will add up… Especially if you buy your tickets online.
The game we were at was on St. Patty’s Day. It’s a drinking day, and the green beer was flowing. Kind of. There were massive lines for beer, and I’m sure as a rule for their protection, they check your ID each and every time. This does not speed the process up. Due to the lines, beer vendors just set up their own little shops down stairs. There were zero beer vendors in our section. When we finally got one, we all basically bought him dry. Lazy bastards.
All that said, I do appriciate the place for its history and having the most picturesque back drop in the League. Past the outfield is Papago Park and Hole In The Rock.
Andromeda says its her favorite, but really, could we get a fucking beer vendor in the stands please.
Peoria Sports Complex. Home of the San Diego Padres and Seattle Mariners. Game Attended: Mariners vs Cubs.
I actually like this ballpark a lot.
It’s got all the stuff I want. A large outfield berm. Cheap tickets ($7) and Old Style beer.
No really. When the Cubbies come to play, Peoria is Hohokam West, only cheaper. They sell Old Style cans for $4. In Mesa they were $5. Hell ya.
Last year at a Padres Cubs game a Padres player hit a home run… and a Cubs fan threw it back. I laughed my ass off. So much for home field advantage.
Peoria also has the largest assortment of food that I’ve seen and a huge selection of beer, including a selection of beers on tap that put 90% of the bars in the Valley to shame. They are also upwards of $12 a beer. Yikes.
My partner Her Name Is Michele Palson got ice cream from one of the trailers. They make it right there in front of you using liquid nitrogen. Pretty darn cool. Well, freezing technically.
Peoria is a great ballpark other than it can be a pain to get into the parking lot, but really, that’s most of the stadiums.
Salt River Fields at Talking Stick. Home of Your Arizona Diamomdbacks and Colorado Rockies. Games attended: March 21st Brewers vs DBacks, March 26th DBacks vs Cubs, April 2nd, DBacks vs Cubs.
What kind of a name is that – Salt River Fields at Talking Stick. It’s the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of stadium names.
SRFaTS is the newest ballpark, opening last year. It had its growing pains… Pains that I have addressed before.
To avoid the long ticket lines for day-of-game tickets, I went at 10 am on a Monday to buy all my tickets. They charge you five bucks to park to get tickets. You get it back, but still. It’s stupid.
It’s funny how I look over the various faults of Hohokam, but I am hyper-vilagant of SRFaTS.
The outfield berm is enormous. I bet they can fit more people out there than the Astros stadium can hold total. The problem with it is that the berm is steep. Like ridiculously steep. Non-drunk friendly kind of steep. I mean its not drunk friendly because you are afraid you are gonna fall, but also because you can’t set your drink down.
Speaking of booze, the vendors only sell Miller Lite and Coors Light. Yuck. You can find Bud, but you actually gotta get up and risk tumbling on the steep grade. They also have a booth selling boat drinks like daquris, but they are all made with flavors of Malibu Rum, which means there isn’t enough alcohol in it to move my BAC enough to warrant the $10 price tag. What seemed interesting were tankards of sangaria. They were also $10 but looked to be about 32oz. I don’t know how much wine was in there, but it looked damn refreshing. When Andromeda bought one, it was proven that they are thirst quenchers.
This is becoming a thing. Stadiums are selling Old Style when the Cubs are at their park. Thanks guys. Another thing SRFaTS picked up from the Cubbies is a full assortment of condoments. Way to step your game up.
The place just seems bigger than all the other parks. It’s almost like a small major league stadium. There are three levels of seats including the Pepsi Pavilion on the upper level. I want to see how it feels after I go to Camelback Ranch, which is the biggest park. SRFaTS just seems almost too big.
I also don’t like that you can’t stand against the wall in the walkway above the lower level. That’s one of my favorite spots to stand on a hot day. You can stand in the shade and have some cool brick to lean against. I highly recommend it, but its a no go at SRFaTS.
Speaking of too many rules, at a Cubs game, Andromeda, Her Name Is Michele Palson and I moved into some seats behind home plate during the 9th inning. It’s pretty much a baseball tradition to move up to better seats when the fair weather fans leave to beat traffic. I grabbed a seat and waited for the girls. They were detained by an usher. Wow, they wanted to make sure we had tickets for section that was 90% empty. Yes, we didn’t have tickets. So? What was the issue here? I just figured they would want to provide their fans the best experience possible with out any hinderance to others. We weren’t bothering anyone, and wouldn’t have. I’ve done the same move at every other park I’ve been to for the most part, spring training and in the majors.
So, Scottsdale Stadium is in Scottsdale (no shit) and so is SRFaTS. Where Scottsdale Stadium is a party for those fresh to the drinking age, SRFaTS draws the same folks 15-20 years later. Well, at least the ladies.
At the first game, there were massive amounts of MILFs and Cougars at the game. It was about 6 to 1 chicks to guys in the left field grass where we were sitting. There were a few kids here and there, but if you are a single dad, this was the place to be. All the mommy play dates seemed to be there.
Also, there were more fake tits there than any game so far.
I just have this feeling in my stomach that I am a hater. That I want to find faults with this place because of problems last season, and frankly, I like to complain sometimes.
Goodyear Stadium. Home of the Cincinnati Reds and Cleveland Indians. Game attended: March 25th Cubs vs. Indians.
Another ballpark that is to hell and gone out there.
I was surprised that the Sunday I attended was the first game I went to alone. I have had really good luck in roping my friends into going to games with me. No luck on this Sunday.
I had been to the ballpark before and remembered it being ok. Now with my microscope of review writing, I gotta tell you, the place is great. I think that the stadiums that don’t have the big name, big draw teams work harder to give you a great experience.
I will start with my qualms.
Only one really, the lawn is tiny. It was sold out when I went so I paid $12 for the next cheapest ticket. I never actually made it to my seat. I spent the whole time watching the game from different vantage points on the concourse. Unlike most stadiums, there isn’t a walkway separating an upper and lower section, it’s all one level with access from the top.
There were a ton of spots along the concourse where you could stand and watch the game. They had a nice high top bar style railing where you could set your beer and watch the game. I took full advantage of these and watched the game from a half-dozen vantage points with out sitting down all game.
Maybe it was just the mood I was in, but I thought it was a great fan friendly ballpark. One that is like to go to a lot… If it wasn’t 30 miles from my house.
Camelback Ranch. Home of The Chicago White Sox and LA Dodgers. Game attended: March 28th Padres vs White Sox.
It was my first game where I didn’t care about either team.
I pretended to be a Sox fan because Andromeda’s dad met me there, and I had to suck up to the old man.
I will say, its a ways out there, but it was easy to get in the free parking lot and find a space.
It was probably because there was no one at the game. They said the attendance was 3600, but I would eat my hat if there were actually half that many people there. There seemed to be fewer people than the game I went to in Surprise, and that had attendance of under 1200 (compare the pictures). They were sneaking in more than a few people on us.
The ballpark is beautiful, and huge. It reminded me of SRFaTS in its scope. Maybe it just seemed empty due to the size, but I doubt it because Surprise isn’t much smaller.
It was so dead, most of the vendors closed up shop, so I can’t give you a good impression of the food and drinks they offer.
One of the things I really liked was that there were a bunch of trees in center field around the batters eye. I also liked that there wasn’t just grass in the outfield berm, but they had grass sections for the fans at the end of the foul lines. It was at quite a pitch, but of would be an enjoyable area to cop a squat and watch the game.
The place was put together well, with one glowing omission… No cup holders in the stands. For shame.
I’d like to see the place when the Sox are playing the Cubs. I hear those games are packed.
Maryvale Stadium. home of the Milwaukee Brewers. Game Attended: March 29th, vs The Reds.
Is there nothing in Maryvale other than schools and churches?
I went to the game late and snuck into the oddly located ballpark from 59th Ave, and passed what seemed like at least five schools.
The stadium is tucked into a non descriptions neighborhood, and we pulled in and parked right by the entrance and when we walked up to the ticket booth, they told us to go on in.
Ok, I like this place.
Well, not really. Free was the right price for the place. I don’t know when it was built, but it feels old, much like Phoenix Muni. The lawn is very small, but uses grass seating along The foul lines in the outfield like Camelback Ranch. The grass seating is at A crazy pitch, seemingly worse than SRFaTS. Not only that, at the bottom is a brick wall that is at least three feet tall. That basically kills the sight lines of a third of the outfield seating. They obviously haven’t ever heard of a fence.
One thing that I will give them props on is having Leinenkugel’s for pretty darn cheap. It’s a good beer, and they are $6.75, which doesn’t sound cheap, but most places would want 9 bucks for a “premium” beer.
Other than that, the place just seems lackluster and kinda run down… Then again, so does Maryvale when you leave.
I have friends that really like the place, but I missed the allure. How can a place I got into for free and parked at the door rank at the bottom of the barrel? I don’t know, but they pulled it off.
Maybe I was jaded because the only reason I went to the game was to see Clay Zavada, and I didn’t see him.
Tempe Diablo Stadium. Home of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. Game attended: April 1st vs The Cubs.
I gotta say, this is one of the prettiest parks in AZ. May in fact be the best looking from the outside, with the mountain next to it.
On the inside you also have a beautiful view. Well, some do. Of you are sitting on the first base side you get the mountain behind the outfield. If you are sitting on the third base side, you get a not so hot view of the freeway. That one leaves a bit to be desired.
Due to being butted up against the interstate, there is only left field grass seating, which cuts down on the capacity. Cuts down on it a bit I would think, judging how we were packed into the grass like sardines.
Parking can be a pain in the ass due to the ballpark being stuffed into an industrial business area, but it’s just something you deal with. It does seem odd that the main parking is a quarter-mile from the stadium. Maybe the ticket scalpers planned it that way. There certainly were enough of them.
The place gets the thumbs up.
That’s the end, and really, in one way or another, all the parks get a thumbs up in some way. Even Maryvale.
I was gonna think of some contrived ranking system, but I had a great time at each and every game. That’s the thing about Spring Training and Baseball in general to me, it’s all about the camaraderie between friends and fellow fans. It’s all about the experience as a whole. None of the things I didn’t like about the ballparks impeded my enjoyment (well, other than the security kicking us out of the good seats at SRFaTS).
Most of that enjoyment was thanks to Andromeda, Her Name Is Michele Palson, Je-double-n, Kelly, Bender, Chako, Mike Strikers, T-Ya, Bob, Rena, Andromeda’s pops, everyone that went on the Bikes Booze and Baseball bike ride, and DJ Not So Jazzy Jeff. You guys rule. Thanks for the good times.
“Got a beat-up glove, a homemade bat, and brand-new pair of shoes;
You know I think it’s time to give this game a ride.
Just to hit the ball and touch ‘em all – a moment in the sun;
(pop) It’s gone and you can tell that one goodbye!”
First an observation. Last night a girl said, “I can’t see shit.”
For once, I paid attention. That is an odd phrase.
It’s always said in an upset way. Do you really wish you could see shit, because that is bordering on fecalphilia.
That leads into the second part, only because doodoo butter is involved.
In Florida, we were staying in a giant six bedroom house with Andromeda’s mom, sister, three aunts, two cousins, and one cousin husband (the only other male in the house). It was a pretty full house, but we had the master with a jacuzzi tub, so all was right with the world.
On the day of the wedding, I dropped off Andromeda and beat feet back to the house to sling some mud. I could tell by the bubble guts that it wasn’t gonna be pretty.
I got up to the crap-shack and saw that there was no ass wipe on the roll. I tore through the cupboards as the clock in my bowels raced to the zero hour. There was no toilet paper to be found. (There was also no boxes of tissue. Ya, I explored my options.)
One option was to go downstairs and ask of some one knew where the toilet paper was. I really didn’t want to let all the ladies in the house, most of which I had only met the night before, that I needed to lay wolf bait. By the beads of perspiration, they would have known that it was gonna be a brown on white porcelain hate crime.
I couldn’t do that. Plus, I’m not sure if my pucker could have held going up the stairs a second time.
The reckoning day had arrived.
I had an assplosion that could have been written about in Revelations.
I didn’t even have toilet paper to wipe my tears.
I gave it a flush and stepped directly into the shower.
Next time you take a dump, stand up before you wipe. It’s the oddest, most mentally disrupting thing I can remember. It’s like if you found a dick on your prostitute (that you weren’t expecting). Your entire existence since you were two years old tells you to poop, wipe, flush, wash your hands. Skip a step and you throw off the universe.
Anyway, with a spine tingle of impending doom, I hop in the shower and let the water flow down my ass crack. I was horrified and curious… I swear I was more horrified, but the curiosity took over. I actually watched as shit went down the shower drain.
All I’m gonna say is I’m glad I started saving my ass. Let me give you a visual you won’t want. Imagine trying to scrub peanut butter out of shag carpet.
I eventually felt clean-ish. Physically. Mentally I was still quite shaken.
It was at this point I looked at the bowl. It was splattered in fecal stucko that wouldn’t come off.
It stayed for the rest of the trip, reminding me of the miss-adventure.
“Once every 24 hours
I’m supposed to take a shower
That’s not the way I do it
Do it do it
Personal hygiene is the last thing on my mind
I don’t want to do it
Do it do it”
I think I’ve covered this subject, but since its 2:08 and I’ve been waiting since 1:27, I have some time to kill.
I flew into Orlando with just enough time to rent a car and drive to Andromeda’s brother’s wedding rehearsal. As I do, I was about 10 minutes early. If you are early, you’re never late they say.
Everyone who was already in town didn’t take into account Florida rush hour traffic. Actually, they probably did. It was the torrential rain, the two car accidents, and the broken down bus that they didn’t factor for.
There were only two of us who were actually on time. The bride and groom barely made it before six.
These things happen.
You plan for the worst… Well, you think you do.
The wedding is today (time has passed, and I am writing this before the ceremony). Andromeda’s mom woke her up at 9:30. I had been up for over an hour because I can’t sleep unless I have complete darkness, thanks Roll-A-Shields. I wasn’t privy to the schedule for the day, but somehow I should have known to wake her earlier.
She was supposed to be mostly ready to go, and meet the other bridesmaids at the brides hotel at 11. She said that she wasn’t worried, since her brother and the bride were late to the rehearsal, it didn’t matter if she was late. I had to wonder how often this is her attitude. In the nicest possible way, I told her that that might not be the best way of doing things. I’m not sure if it’s a tit for tat on tardiness. (In her defense, she saw no real reason why she should have to meet up with the bridesmaids, as there really wasn’t any comradeship between them all. The only reason for her to be there was because it was the brides request. But, she is the bride, and it is her day, so you should still do your best to fulfill that request and try to make her wedding day as stress free as possible.)
I drove her and her sister to the hotel. They were only a few minutes more than an hour late.
The plan was that I was gonna go back to the house, get ready, and pick up Andromeda’s dad, stepsister, and stepmother from the same hotel I dropped her off at 1:30. At the wedding rehearsal, the pastor, or whatever his official title is, told us to all be there by 2:15. Factoring in traffic, 1:30 seemed like a good time. Andromeda’s mom was in charge of picking up her and her sister for the wedding.
Well, that was the plan. When I left to drop the girls off, her mom and cousins were heading to Target to get some last-minute stuff. They barely got back at 1 and still had to get ready. Everyone is stressed and running at a frantic pace at the house. Apparently, her cousins husband bought the wrong something which lead to a very loud and relatively brief screaming match. If you know me, you know that I don’t appreciate that – the screaming, not the brevity. If everyone had planned ahead, and not waited till the last moment, the stress would have been relieved.
Since her mom was late, I was to pick up the girls and Andromeda’s dad and his family were gonna take a cab again.
I was out the door to pick up the ladies (Andromeda and her half-sister) a little early. I had to part ways with the ticking time bomb that was the house.
This was the most miraculous thing. I got to the hotel, and was a little early. I settled in to the lobby bar for what I assumed would be a while. Andromeda and her sister were in the lobby early! Will wonders ever cease? They were ready, but needed to grab their stuff from the room. Looks like I still had time for a Makers.
Her pops and his crew were ready to go, and we hung out and waited for their cab ($75 cab ride to the wedding). I like her dad tremendously. There is just a connection I feel with him. He is an old school guy, and I like to think of myself in the same light. We have talked about punctually in the past. We didn’t say anything, but with a look, I said, “I’m here on time, and I would have gotten you to the wedding on time.”
They left and the waiting game started. We were waiting on the bride.
I understand, it’s her day.
I’m actually the first one to say, this is your thing, enjoy your wedding, or at the very least, stress out as little as you can. Fuck everybody else.
Fuck me.
I mean, truly. What, I’m gonna be upset that I gotta be inconvenienced on her wedding day? It’s a huge day for her. Fuck me for being pissy.
That said, I was pissy.
I don’t like standing around waiting on other people.
We made it to the wedding, 45 minutes after we were told to be there, but the powers that be are much smarter than I am, and must plan with a lateness window in mind.
The wedding went off right about on schedule. No more than 10 minutes late, which is damn good when you realize how everything leading up to it was.
And it was a pretty darn nice wedding.
All that said.
Punctuality is a respect thing.
If something is important to you, you make it a priority. You won’t be late. People that are always late are basically saying that their time is more important than your time. They don’t care about your time, and that you have exactly the same amount of minutes in your day as they do. They may not want to admit it, but it’s true.
Can you think of a better explanation?
(I don’t even want to get into trying to plan people’s habitual lateness into things. My self-worth is already pretty low, without assuming people don’t give a shit about me or have respect for me.)
“I’m not always there when you call, but I’m always on time”
I’ve been pretty stressed out and in my head the last week plus (update: my pops collapsed at a doctor’s appointment and ended up in the ER again on Thursday, but he is home and good(ish) now.). I needed a good time.
Saturday was one of the patented “Booze, Bikes, and Baseball” events. That proved to be both a good time and super stressful.
I’m choosing to not focus on that, but focus on the awesomeness that was my Sunday.
I got up early to meet up with the Chuck Clan, whose brother Jason was in town. Jason is an artist and professional glass blower. They had rented shop time at Circle 6, a glass shop which also happens to be where Andromeda gets her electronic cigarette stuff (not that she uses her electronic cigarette much anymore). I was gonna take a crash course on blowing glass.
It was a great time. I would say it’s cool, but nothing about working with a 2400 degree furnace is cool. At all. It’s hot as shit.
With the help of Chako, Chuck Chuck, and most importantly Jason I went through the steps of making a bad ass tumbler. It’s a process, a very interesting process that I would be glad to explain in person, but don’t feel like typing out…
As stated before, its fucking hot. Molten glass a few inches from your hand is hotter than you might think. I figured I was a big burly manly man. I could take the heat – literally. Nope. I totally had to take a little hand breather. Shit was super hot, but I had an awesome cup going into the last step.
I dropped a bead of water where I was supposed to. Then I hit the rod. I thought I did it right, but I may have been a tad over zealous. I sadly broke the bottom out of my cup.
Very sad face, but it was still an unforgettable experience.
After that, I made a flower, that I kinda messed up a little, but I’m sure Andromeda will enjoy it. I’m a little messed up, but she still likes me a lot.
After the glass blowing (seriously, I’m still super excited about it… I wanna do it again tomorrow) I went home and picked up our weekend house guests, Kelly and Bret.
We headed to breakfast at The Rail. Yet another win! Bret said that their chicken fried steak and eggs was one of the best he has ever had.
Then it was off to see The Cubbies play their first spring training game (we went to the DBacks opener the day before, so my allegiances are even).
We were a little late, not Andromeda’s fault, but still found a good spot in the grass.
There is just something so wonderful about sitting in the grass on a spring day with your friends and having a cold one. I pay attention to the game, but I also just enjoy shooting the shit with my friends.
You may want to put on some steel toe boots, because I’m about to drop a name. When Je-double-n, Andromeda and I came back from buying hats, Kelly’s boss was sitting on my blanket. Her boss is Ryan Dempster. As in starting Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster. We have hung out before, but I’m sitting in the grass drinking Old Styles, watching my the Cubs with the pitcher who is starting the next day. It was a trip.
We just sat there and shot the shit about him hanging out with Eddie Vedder and John Cusack, and doing karaoke where someone signed him up for “Better Man” from Pearl Jam. I found out that he, from the dugout, yells “balk” when the opposing pitcher tries to pick someone off at first.
The best part was that he told us that as a team building exercises each day they were roasting a player. That day was a Korean outfielder named Ha. He doesn’t speak much English, but he sings. They made him sing “Desperado” by The Eagles. Ryan said he did a perfect version. When he came out to play in left field, Bret and I started singing that song to him, confusing the shit out of him. He was looking back at us trying to figure out who we were and how we knew.
I’m sure he was astonished by how quickly news travels in America.
I thought that it was odd that no one really recognised Ryan. At least no one bothered him. Maybe they didn’t think he would be sitting in the grass drinking beer with the likes of us. Later I found this article on MLB.com. If you read it, you will see that Ryan Dempster and I are officially “buddies”. How rad is that.
It reminded me of when we ran into Brandon Webb and Dan Haren at a DBacks spring training game. I really hope Chako still has the picture he took with Webb. One of the ultimate fails. He took the picture himself and only has half of Webb’s face in the frame.
After the game we hung out and went to The BOP for dinner. Their tuna melt is the best.
Now I’m at work, tired as shit, but it was an epic day.
“Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass”
Since we started taking about moving to Denver, I have joked that my parents would move with us. It’s only kind of a joke. I’m their world.
If you think I’m being egotistical, you haven’t met my parents.
I always assumed they would follow me wherever I went. Ok, possibly a little egotistical.
My dad’s health problems really have my mom worried. When we were being admitted to the hospital, the nurse tried to comfort my mom, letting her know that everything was gonna be alright. My mom broke down crying, mouthing to me “no it’s not”.
I realize that it was in a time of abundant stress, but its true. We don’t know if everything is gonna be fine.
He’s had strokes, high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic pain, depression, neuropathy, Mild Cognitive Disorder, and who knows what else. He has a lot of hard years on his soon to be 68 year old body.
I don’t know how old his father was, but my Grandpa Charlie died when I was in the 7th grade, and his sister who was three years older died last year.
Even better (that’s sarcasm to the Archer fans) is that with Alzheimer’s he gets two deaths. First the mind and then the body. Lucky for him, the in between time won’t be nearly as hard on him as it will be on my mom, Andromeda, and I.
My mom is also worried that something is going to happen to him while she is at work. With the neuropathy his balance isn’t what it used to be. She’s afraid of him falling – if she is there or not. Afraid of him wandering off again.
She only works one day a week away from home, and I’m trying to get her to switch it to a Monday or Wednesday, that way I could keep an eye on him, and be available at the drop of a hat. Not to baby sit, but just to look in on him. I like doing that anyway.
Anyway, his health is just adding another stress to the move.
I know its gonna be murder on my mom when I move. She will deal with it, knowing that its something I need to do for Andromeda and my future. I just feel bad for leaving her with even more stress. Leaving her without a safety net. Leaving her without, well, me.
She has no time for herself, and does nothing for herself as is. I feel bad about taking away that option.
It’s scary.
I’m afraid to leave them.
I’m afraid of lots of things.
“When Andromeda and I move to Denver, my parents will move with us, I’m sure. They can’t live without me, the center of their universe.” I don’t know how I will without them.
I don’t know how funny it is, but I’m not joking.
“And I don’t know how you feel
But I’ll make you a deal
If you’ll make it out alive
My shoulders and ears Are all yours my dear
I Hope it comes as no surprise
You’ve been known to say
That you’re a-okay
When you’re feeling sick inside
I just want you to know I got no place to go
Until the day you die”
–Alkaline Trio “While You’re Waiting”
